Surviving the end of the World…

Original Post: 13/10/2015

A year ago today, my dad died. My hero, my comedian, my world. A man who touched peoples hearts, not in a big loud ‘change the world’ way, but in a ‘whoever he met would have a smile on their face’ way. I miss him terribly. 

This day will be hard and I know just the build up to it alone has played games with my mind, anticipation of how it may or may not be. The fact that so much importance is placed on hitting a number of days, minutes, moments without him when it is my daily reality, missing him every moment, starting new ventures with out him, and not having him on the end of a phone, baffles me. But there you go. We all do it.

Losing someone is one of the hardest journeys to experience. (Notice I said journey, Put a pin in it and we will return to it later)

Sometimes it is unavoidable, sometimes it is snatched too soon, sometimes it is horrific circumstances, but what ever the reason it still puts an end to life as you previously knew it to be and you have to learn to go on.

There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish things were different. For my Dad to be here. But he isn’t, that is not going to change. But the things I have to say may help someone else’s world stay complete and that’s the reason I created this blog. 

My father killed himself after fighting with depression and anxiety. He was a strong man and fought it with everything he had, however the illness was too much for him. 

My World Gone.

But this one is for the Survivors of the end of the World. I am going to take a moment today dedicated to everyone that has survived losing part of their world. I am taking a moment for everyone fighting with mental illness and send them hope that they can kick its butt. I am taking a moment for the people around mental Illness, supporting loved ones and friends, people often forgotten in the battle, yet crucial in every stage. 

  My World is forever changed. My memories of my Dad fire me on wards. In

this past year my family have raised over £3000 for MIND and continue to share our story to raise awareness. The support and love we have felt has been overwhelming and the words of encouragement, and the conversations about mental health that we have started are incredible.

This year has been a JOURNEY of firsts, of healing, of repairing and readjusting. With every step I hope I make my Dad proud. I watch my own family with awe as we deal the aftermath of this evil illness that polluted my Dad’s mind and continuously wish that no one else would have to go through what he did, and what we did. 

Mental Illness can effect anyone, in a small or big way. It needs to be talked about, and the stigma combated. A shocking statistic I read earlier in the Week:

Suicide is a painful topic, but not a shameful one. Let’s start the conversation. Let’s decide that Mental Illness is not OK and make a stand. Let’s out stretch a hand to anyone with any form of mental Illness and say, ‘I am here, I am ready, I will be here every step of the way’. 

We as a family have had to learn to live in a New World, one we may not have wanted, but one in which we can leave a mark, in memory of the Man who formed my world and made it one of the most wonderful places to live in. 

To My Dad, To my family , To the fighters,  To the Survivors.